Friends Forever

Neighbor Phil was one of my first friends when I moved into my little pink house on Lindberg Terr. She walked over to introduce herself and told me to stop over anytime for a visit. Knowing I was not native to the area, she could see that I wanted terribly to visit with someone, however, didn't want to intrude. Not long after our "formal" introduction I found myself drinking iced tea on the back patio of a my new friend home.

Our iced tea visits grew into dinner visits, card games and occasional trips to the park just to take a drive. Many evenings as I would return from a stressed filled day I found Neighbor Phil sitting on her back patio calling my name insisting I stop for a visit. Our visits typically consisted of me telling her about my day, how I was working too much and needed more balance in my life. She was wonderful at redirecting the conversation to more important things in life like family, flowers and how blessed the day was because of the sunshine. One evening I came home to find a pineapple upside down cake on my kitchen counter. It was her way of expressing her love and appreciation. Little did she know, that wonderful cake made many in my office very happy. She had no idea that I was allergic to pineapple and was never able to enjoy her gifts. Over the years, my staff ate more pineapple upside down cake than any other "treat" I brought to the office.

Her generous heart wasn't only noted in her baking but it was also evident in her smile. She had a smile that could melt your heart. It said, "You are always welcome here and you are special to me". I was never an interruption in Neighbor Phil's life only a blessing as she described. It was an honor to spend time with her and laugh together as she attempted to teach me Uker or Euker or whatever the card game is called.

It wasn't until May of 2002 that I realized how much Neighbor Phil had taken over my heart. I made a move to Denver and it was time to tell her "see ya later". I dreaded it so much I thought if I don't think about it might it just go away? Delaying my good by to her seemed to make things more emotional. I remember sitting on the little bar stools, which tucked so nicely under the breakfast bar and thinking, whom will I sit with and tell about my day? Neighbor Phil was such a part of my daily life and I just couldn't imagine coming home and not seeing her.

Frequent phone calls from Denver helped some of the pain, however, never really soothed it completely. We chatted about the neighborhood and how her 3 boys were doing. We also talked about all of her beautiful grandchildren and who was where and such. She always ended the call with, "how soon will you come home for a visit?" Each visit back to Iowa wasn't complete without a visit to see Neighbor Phil.

A few years later I made a move back to the area to be closer to family. It was a wonderful decision and I know Neighbor Phil couldn't have been more excited. She just beamed when I told her I would be closer and able to visit more often. Soon after my move back to Iowa, she and her family made a decision for her to move into Assisted Living. She was getting a little forgetful, however, still very much wanted her independence. She had a wonderful little apartment and it was fun to visit in her new home.

As time moved on, she worked a little harder to remember things and people. I could tell with each visit she needed just a little help remembering how we knew each other. My work allowed much flexibility so I was able to visit often especially over the lunch hour. It was always fun for us to share her pumpkin pie together as I sipped on a warm cup of coffee. "No coffee for me, she would say. I can only have tea." We would comment on how wonderful the food was and how lovely everyone was to her. After lunch we would walk to the lower level so I could play the piano for her to enjoy. She would have sat for hours just listening as I played the same 4 songs over and over. In her mind I think she just thought they were the most beautiful songs ever written. It was a hoot just watching her look at me and smile like nothing else was going on in the world. In Neighbor Phil's world, that was all that mattered right then.

Her ability to get around fluidly became more difficult so we would find a wheelchair and just "walk" the halls stopping to greet fellow neighbors. I remember one of our last visits well. I was a little pressed for time and thought I would pick up lunch and take it with me and just eat as we visited. During the drive I really felt the Holy Spirit telling me to eat now and not wait because this visit would not be like the others. I finished my lunch and made a beeline up to her room. After exchanging pleasantries with Glenda, the Administrator, I stepped into her room only to find her resting in bed. This was pretty unusual, as Neighbor Phil liked to be up in her chair or in the dinning area people watching. I arrived with a big smile on my face and didn't make her guess who I was. "Hey Phil, it's neighbor Danette from the pink house." I had just seen her 2 wks ago and today she had a different look in her eyes. I grabbed another blanket and tucked it tightly around her as I sat down next to the bed. She looked a little flat to me and I had this huge lump in my throat as I asked why she was in bed. "I just feel yuck", she said. Not being a complainer, it surprised me that she was so quick to tell me she didn't feel so well. I remember thinking, is it getting close to the end and is she trying to tell me she is tired and ready to leave. My heart was sinking and I was trying to maintain absolute emotional composure. We chatted for a short time and with tears in her eyes she asked when I would be back to see her. I responded, “Will you wait for me?” With a have raised eyebrow and smile she said "yes". My heart knew it would be soon that she would make that long awaited journey with the angels to meet her Savior.

Before I left I asked her something I had never asked before. "May I pray with you?" I could barely get the words out of my mouth to express how blessed and thankful I was to have her in my life. I knew God was good, but in that moment I was living God's goodness. I had an amazing 88 yr old woman staring me in the eyes as I thanked the Lord for His goodness to both of us. With tears running down both of our cheeks, I heard her whisper "I love you honey, you are my good girl". That was the last visit I would make where she was able to speak words to me.

I received a call from her son just 2 wks after that visit. "Mom's not doing so well and we wanted you to know." This would be my last visit with Neighbor Phil and I knew that it my heart. An ice storm had just begun around 4 that morning and the roads were unpredictable. As I felt my SUV wiggle back and forth over the ice coated highway I cried out to God in desperation fearful that I wouldn't get one last visit with her. The only way I was going to make it to see her was by divine intervention from Jesus. As I passed the many cars, trucks and SUV's in the ditch I selfishly prayed that God would allow my tires to stick to the pavement as if it were a dry morning in July. I knew my wanting to see Neighbor Phil was completely self-serving and I told God that. Begging Him to melt the ice was my only option. As I tried to dry the tears from my eyes it occurred to me that I had my sunglasses on. During my desperate cries I failed to notice that the sun was brighter than ever. We hadn’t seen the sun so bright in over two weeks.

Divine intervention is God's specialty and I know He enjoys blowing us away with His ability to command the sun to melt the ice. That is exactly what He did that morning, melted the ice. He knew what it was like to loose a good friend. He knew how much it hurt and how badly you want to see someone one last time. He delivered my request and allowed me the blessing of spending time with a most humble and gracious friend.

My heart was light as I spent our last minutes together. A previously schedule trip would take me away for a few days and I knew this would be our "see ya later" visit. I think we knew in our hearts that this was our last visit. We didn't need to say it out loud but we both knew. We sat and just enjoyed being. No visits about work, busy lives, how much my house needs to be cleaned or what tomorrow had planned. Just little words like, "I love you, you are very special to me, you are such a blessing, thank you". Time was standing still for both of us. It was God's gift to our friendship. Nothing in life mattered right then except for the pleasure of us being together.

Just five days later as I was landing in Atlanta my message light lit up on my cell phone. Dave's voice broken but audible stated that Neighbor Phil had passed away. Her 3 son’s sat with her as the angels began their preparation of escorting her into the Holy of Holy's. So many loved one who had passed before her would soon greet her. Would she see her parents first or husband Eddie? I wondered what she was seeing and how beautiful she was feeling now that she could remember everything. She wouldn't need anyone to help "jog" her memory because she was now perfect and about to meet her Heavenly Father. I’m sure she made a stop at the Heavenly beauty shop to get her hair done and insisted on wearing her Sunday best. She was one of the classiest ladies I’ve ever known.

It hurts my heart that I have lost the physical friend I spent so much time with. However, I still have every memory of Neighbor Phil. It warms my heart each time I think of how much God loved us as He so perfectly introduced us to each other. He knew we would be great friends and great friends we were. See ya soon Neighbor Phil.